Moon

there is a lot of angry people in Britain at the moment, so i thought i'd write a story to cheer everyone up.

 

“I” said the Moon, “am the Moon.”

the hordes stared up at the inky darkness, and the white smudge of light that had promised to stop and say hello had finally done so.

The Moon, what was originally thought of to be a chancing lump of rock that had got caught up in Earth's gravity, had recently been discovered to be sentient, and had decided to “hang around” for a few forevers, to see how things were going on.

The Moon is a bit of an awkward character. He, or she, depending on which you prefer wouldn't usually stay for long, wandering off near the end of the night, like a friend leaving the nightclub because they have run out of money, or don't want to be around everyone. However, he had announced that he was going to stay and have a proper chat, for a bit.

Everyone was laying down outside, wherever they found space to do so, so that they could see the Moons first ever speech. He/she was hovering over Europe, which, he/she had decided, looked like the friendliest of the continents.

In this particular spot, on the green grass of Hyde park, London, the first words of the Moon had just been spoken.

“I” said the Moon, “am the Moon.”

everyone applauded.

“i'm glad that you have came out to say hello” he/she announced. The Moon's voice was loud, but hesitant, as if he/she was not a hundred percent certain on what it was saying. It sounded like the voice everyone had famously heard saying “one small step for man...”. Knowing the name of the astronaut would be nice, but there are more important things going on at the moment.

“I recorded the voice” the Moon continued. “from the people you sent up. Oh, and They left a flag, I don't know if you want it back or anything...”

the Moon didn't perform a speech. He took a few questions.

“how are you alive?” came a small voice, probably from France. The Moon had, politely, agreed to translate and project all questions asked, so that everyone everywhere could enjoy them.

“it's not hard to be alive” the Moon replied. “I don't do that much. Sit about in the sky. Do a few laps of the Earth, you know, excersise.”

the Moon took a few more questions, thanked everyone for turning up, and everyone applauded again, and went home.

The Moon stayed.

The next day, everyone was going about their daily business, most of them excited by the nights events, but unaware that the Moon was still there. At about 3 o'clock in the afternoon, in Poland, where this new event took place, the Moon spoke again.

“having a nice day?” the Moon boomed.

The shock caused many car crashes, trips, and, inexplicably, a fire, in a polish farm on the outskirts of Osweicim, a town near Krakow that was more famously known by its German name.

“Moon?” the people of Poland said, or thought.

“hello!” the Moon was cheery today. He had made some new friends, and he didn't really have any intention of packing off and going to Australia, and Africa, and the other Countries he would visit during our day-time.

“shouldn't you be in the south?”

“I thought i'd stay, get to know everyone better.”

the Moon stayed for a few days, though not realising the trouble he was causing. The tides were in a right mess.

Soon, the people of the Northern Hemisphere were annoyed at the Moon. It wouldn't go away.

“Moon,” someone said, one starry night, somewhere in Russia, “perhaps you should go and make more friends in the south.”

“but what about us?” the Moon replied. The booming voice still caused minor troubles, but it's constant interruption was less of a surprise by now.

“we've enjoyed your company” the person lied, “but we preferred it when you only stayed for shorter periods.”

the Moon was upset. The Moon had never been as upset as it was then. It had tried to make new friends, and they didn't want him around.

The next day, and the next night, and forever so on from then, the Moon was gone. Despite attempts to get the Moon back, it was never seen in the skies again.

I'm lying in Hyde park, where all this started, too long ago to remember now. Staring at the inky blackness, and the dim light of the stars.